Heart Attack Caused by Dutch Political Climate?
Dear reader of Henri van Zanten’s Improvisations,
Normally my function as the webmeister of this blog takes place behind the scenes: Besides maintaining the technical aspects of the weblog I hope that my media training sessions with van Zanten will continue to be as fruitful as up to the present. Although I could mention some points of critique. At the moment I don’t want to write about irregularly posting intervals with long breaks, keeping the interested readership in a painful state of uncertainity.
But now it’s not the time for criticism, first things first. The Grande Opening of the second edition of the Depression Promotion Centre was overshadowed by a dramatic incident. After an inspiring speech by DPC veteran and PvDA polititian Ronald Motta the notorious Curator X appeared in public and addressed the audience from the balcony. Maybe he got upset about the general Dutch cultural and political climate moving to yet to be explored low pressure areas, maybe he got overexcited about the mental, spiritual and certainly physical expansion space he created together with curator Verbrugge, resulting in the convincing manfestation of Depression Promotion Centre 2 in the former Dutch Photomuseum.
I heard rumors about a latent valvular heart disease of Curator X but actually I cannot confirm this by any official source. Anyhow, after a few opening sentences Curator X caught a conceptual heart attack and collapsed all of a sudden. The public grew stiff by this apparently unfortunate calamity. Even the floating pancakes of our fellow artist Hugo Lammerink couldn’t comfort the frightened listeners, but who knows…
Probably inspired by this substantial rural meal, the art loving farmer Harm Koeimaar from Het Boerenbond entered the scene like a Deus ex machina from a Greek tragedy. Thanks to this brilliant stylistic hat trick the instant surrogate of Curator X succeeded in boiling down pretentious musings and intellectual reflections (about art and its function in society) to the very essence, hereby increasing awareness and enlightment at a larger part of the audience than Curator X possibly ever would have managed to. Although I have to admit that his dialect in combination with the reverberation of the hall complicated the understanding slightly:
- “Art? What is art? something about quality that is supposed to generate quantity, right?
- … [unidentified dialectic articulalations] … !
- Everybody is able to appreciate art, therefore you don’t need to understand art.”
- “Art can be … [more unidentified dialectic articulalations] … as well as at the farm.”
- One obsession of the average taxpayer seems to be the notion that “the artist” is wasting exactly that particular fraction of the taxpayers’ money which he paid himself. Based on this false assumption the average taxpayer is claiming a certain decisive power regarding the artist and his artistic fate, … [more unidentified dialectic articulalations] … leads to some sort of public tribunal.”
In a final attempt to silence any possible doubt and upcoming discussion about his bold claims our substitutional farmer used a little help from Godwin’s law, he referred to the rather unsuccessful painter A. Schicklgruber from Austria, who gained quite some fame for the substitution of his artistic failure with a rather “turbulent political career”.
After these nothing hindered the art loving farmer Harm Koeimaar from Het Boerenbond to open the exhibition.
Please leave your “Get well soon!” wishes in the comments! Flowers, gifts, cards and other signs of appreciation for Curator X you can send or deliver to:
Curator X
Witte de Withstraat 63
3012 BN Rotterdam
Thanks in advance. Curator X, get well soon!
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